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The Agony

The Agony

I’m in my room after an early morning breakfast. Kevin, my partner, came by, and we walked over to the dining hall in silence. His sweet smile greeted me as we started the day. We ate with not a word between us, as did everyone else in the dining hall. It felt odd and nice at the same time. I didn’t have to fill space with words with anyone at all. I talk for a living and love what I do, but I also need a break from that, and today I’ve started that break.

After breakfast Kevin gave me the “Do you want to go for a walk?” sign. In case you are curious, that sign is two fingers moving back and forth like little legs. We walked behind and to the left of Rossi Chapel. The path took us up and around St. Joseph’s Hall, in front of and then to the side of St. Robert’s Hall, and then to “The Agony in the Garden.” We took the steps down to a bench, where we sat silently. The statue of Jesus kneeling a few feet away was framed by green and blue and white from the trees and sky and clouds. It was a cool morning, as the sun was still low. Two deer passed by nonchalantly but then with more urgency as they spotted us.

Want to read more? Check out my previous blogs in this series:



  1. Michael — You think I could possibly make it as far as lunch at this place without talking? We are talking refund….

    • :) I later learned that one retreatant almost left on the first day. By the first afternoon he asked himself, “What did I get myself into?” His spiritual director encouraged him to stay and he was glad he did.

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