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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Learning How to Use My Inborn Preferences

Oct 11, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

As soon as we sit down, Cindy notices our rings. Then so do Terri, Mom, and Dad. Smiles spread around the table. Dad comes over and says, “I’m happy for you Mijo.” I tell him we don’t have a wedding date yet, but will let them know. Since I don’t like being the center of attention, we are thinking of something very small. I tell Dad that I’m thinking of just eloping and telling people about it later. Stay tuned… Because we are only six, there are a couple of spots open at our table. A woman named Gita comes over and politely asks if she can join us. As expected, my family welcomes her to take a seat and immediately makes sure she gets food from the platter we have already begun to enjoy. It warms my heart to continue to see how nice my family is. It really helps me understand how I have learned to interact with other people. While I was born with my preferences for INFP, I have also learned how to use those preferences. My family is very responsible for teaching me the right way to treat people. The evening is perfect. The food and drink are delicious and plentiful. The show is fun, and the announcer makes it a point to mention to the crowd that Mom and Dad are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. It is cute to see Dad answer questions from the stage. He is a little shy and very sweet. At one point, the announcer asks Dad what is the secret to a long happy marriage. His reply, “Never go to bed angry.” Those are good words to live by. After the luau, Kevin and I take a walk by ourselves along the beach. Very few people are out, which makes the crash of the waves and the star-lit sky even more special. Kevin is fascinated by the night sky and is really good at pointing out the various planets above us. We find a nice spot to sit and enjoy this breathtaking place out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. We experience our time in the moment as our trip with my…no, our family is winding down. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Sensing vs. Intuition Challenge Celebrating...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Sensing vs. Intuition Challenge

Oct 6, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

The day feels like it is flying by too fast. I have to keep reminding myself, “Live in the moment, or the moment will pass you by.” In type language this means that I have to honor my preference for Intuition, but I will not let it rule my day. If I flex by using Sensing more often, those great moments won’t just pass me by. Still, Terri and Cindy leave tomorrow. Already. Mom, Dad, Kevin, and I leave the day after. It helps me to think that I can plan something again soon. My mind starts to wonder what that will be. Maybe we can all get together over Kevin’s February break. Maybe I should think about inviting other family members to join us. Maybe just our group of six is the right number. Mom and Dad like Vegas. Maybe…again, my preference for Intuition starts to take over. But today is today, and we still have a wonderful last night all together: Live in the moment or… We all meet in the lobby on time as usual, ready for the evening luau. Mom is wearing the pretty ceramic plumeria that I sent her ahead of the trip along with an orange, green, and blue muumuu. We take the elevator down to the ground floor and line up around the side of the pool to enter the outdoor area where tables are set up. I’ve booked the “special” seating so we get a spot right up front. Purple and white leis are given to each of us along with a very nice pupu platter for our table. I think to myself, “These will be the last leis of our trip.” I feel a little sad, but then remind myself once again, “Live in the moment or the moment will pass you by.” There you are Sensing, my new friend. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—ISFJ in Action Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Love Is in the Air Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Loco Moco Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Live in the Moment Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Perceiving Is Alive and Well Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea Celebrating...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—ISFJ in Action

Oct 4, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

After unloading our shopping treasures in the room safe, Kevin and I head down to the pool to join Cindy and Terri. We arrive at the cabana to find Cindy with a cocktail and pu pu platter to share with us. A server comes over, and Kevin and I immediately ask for drinks of our own—mai-tais! They are perfect for a warm Hawaiian afternoon by the pool. Kevin and Cindy have hit it off nicely. He has been wonderful with my family the entire trip. I have shared several times that Kevin’s preferences are ISFJ. Family is usually very important to people with these preferences. Kevin’s attention to my family clearly comes through in his kind and thoughtful way. Terri is not in the pool. Instead, she opts for the ocean just on the other side of the pool area. She comes running up with a pink and purple inner tube. A huge smile covers her face. I can’t help but think how great it is to be here with my sisters. I purposely don’t tell them about our rings—we are going to wear them tonight at the luau. I wonder if they will notice. I wonder what they will say. After a swim and more time under the shade of the cabana, we head back to our room for a nap. On the way, we look up and see Mom and Dad waiving from their balcony. They are enjoying the view of the beach and ocean as the sun starts to move down across the sky. I love seeing them enjoying this important anniversary. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Love Is in the Air Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Loco Moco Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Live in the Moment Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Perceiving Is Alive and Well Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II Facets in Action Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with...

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Know Your Myers-Briggs Type? Here’s How It Could Affect Your Money Decisions

Sep 29, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 3 comments

This article was written by Moira Lawler and originally published on Forbes.com. To read the article on the original website, click here. There are few of us who can resist a good personality test, whether it’s a silly one that pinpoints your spirit animal or a serious one that helps you find your true calling. That’s because getting more insight into ourselves is, at the very least, fun, and at best, seriously eye-opening. Perhaps the most well-known of the eye-opening variety is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a self-reported questionnaire that assesses your personality based on your innate preferences toward extraversion or introversion; sensing or intuition; thinking or feeling; and judging or perceiving. Those preferences then form a four-letter sequence, like ENTJ or ISFP, which serves as your Myers-Briggs personality type. You may have come across the MBTI in a work setting; companies sometimes use it to help employees identify what makes them tick and how they can use their strengths on the job. But it can be illuminating for a lot of other areas of your life, too—including how you manage your money. Curious how each letter of your Myers-Briggs type could affect your finances? We broke down the four key dichotomies and asked psych and money pros to explain their influence on your money-management style—including what you should watch out for that could hinder your progress. Extraversion vs. Introversion The E-I preference pair deals with the way people source their energy. “People who prefer extraversion tend to get their energy from this world of action and people and things,” says Michael Segovia, lead MBTI certification trainer for CPP, publisher of the MBTI assessment. “People who prefer Introversion like the opportunity to reflect and sit back and ponder in their own space.” True to their sociable stereotype, extroverts tend to lean on others when making big decisions. “People who prefer extraversion don’t know what they’re thinking until they hear themselves say it,” Segovia says. “That’s why they bounce ideas off of other people the way they do.” Extroverts may also be prone to overspending on social activities like annual getaways with friends or work happy hours. They could benefit from spending more time reflecting on how they manage their money, such as writing down how certain purchases made them feel. “You might say, ‘This was a waste,’ or ‘I was feeling deprived when I bought this, and now...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Love Is in the Air

Sep 27, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

A big part of any trip for Mom is finding souvenirs to bring back to friends and family. A souvenir shop in King’s Market, located just a block from our hotel, is the perfect place. Dad, Cindy, and I settle in as Mom and Terri start collecting trinkets to buy. I wander in and out of the shop relatively quickly and instead find a T-shirt stand being set up just outside. I buy a T-shirt for me and one for Kevin. Dad worries that all the souvenirs Mom is buying won’t fit in their luggage for the trip home. Still, when Mom comes over he hands her more money. Mom doesn’t want to leave anyone out. I go over to help Mom at the register as item after item goes through checkout. I can’t help but see the line that has formed behind her, and people are looking a little impatient. I don’t want us to be an inconvenience to them, which I see as a common characteristic of others who share my INFP preferences. Once done, we head back to the hotel. Kevin is awake and organizing things in the room for the day. I tell him that Cindy has reserved a cabana down by the pool for all of us. But before heading to the pool, Kevin wants to check out the shopping market we just came from for himself. Together we walk across the street to see what we can find. As soon as we enter the open-air mall, we both spot Na Hoku Jewelers out of the corner of our eye. We’ve always liked their koa wood and silver rings, so we decide to try them on. Shannon behind the counter is very helpful and patient as we try on various rings. It is just the perfect time and the perfect place, so…we end up buying our wedding rings. We love Hawaii and are thrilled to find rings that represent our love in so many ways. Giddy, we take a picture out front of the store and then head back to the hotel. I’m sure that Cindy and Terri are already at the pool, so I want to hurry a bit to meet them there. I’m looking forward to jumping in the water again. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Loco Moco

Sep 22, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

It’s Wednesday, and I’m still fighting that sad feeling that our trip is almost over. I remind myself that we still have today. If I let it, today could be a wonderful day. As usual, we are all wide awake very early and ready to go. By starting at the break of dawn we sure are making the most of our days here. Kevin sleeps in while Mom, Dad, Terri, Cindy, and I head out to a restaurant that Cindy has found. It’s called the Hawaiian Style Café and is known for serving traditional Hawaiian breakfast. I love trying new types of food and can’t wait! I’ve already decided I’m going to go for the Loco Moco! I’ve never had it, but am game for the experience. There are many variations, but the traditional Loco Moco consists of white rice, topped with a hamburger patty, a fried egg, and brown gravy. Yum! We arrive just as they open. There is already a small line waiting to get in. We get our table with no problems and start looking over the menu. Special thanks goes to Dana, our server for her friendly and “with it” service. Hawaiian Style Café is known for serving huge portions. We are all hungry but are no match for the enormous plates of food that arrive shortly after we order. Dana could tell we were worried about leaving so much food on our plates, so she let us know the pigs at a local farm get all the leftovers. Midway through our meal, the restaurant has filled. There still isn’t a line, but I can tell one will be forming later this morning. The house-made Loco Moco was a hit. I will definitely come back the next time I’m in Hawaii. As we sit side-by-side so early in the morning eating our wonderful meals, I’m quietly grateful for this time together. I have such a wonderful family. Thanks, Hawaii, for this magical time together. By the way, if you want to give Hawaiian Style Café a try, here is the address: 65-1290 Kawaihae Rd, Waimea, HI 96743. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Live in the Moment Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Perceiving Is Alive and Well Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Live in the Moment

Sep 20, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

As we head back to the hotel for some downtime—nap, pool, walks along the beach—I start to feel that little bit of angst that our time together is going by too fast. It’s already Tuesday. We just have tonight and tomorrow together, and then our trip will be over. This happens to me on every vacation I go on, especially when I’m having a wonderful time. Instead of living in the moment, I let my preference for Intuition take over and start thinking about the future. Doing this can really take me out of all the wonderful things happening in the present moment. While I’ve done this all my life, I’m getting better at not letting this take over today. As I come back to the present, suddenly all the sounds in the car flow over me. Mom and Terri talking about life back home. Cindy sharing stories about her husband, Dave, and their dog, Stewie. Kevin humming to Hawaiian music playing on the radio. There is so much to experience in this world of Sensing if we just make the effort to give the present moment the time it deserves. After some time on our own, we all come back together for dinner. Tonight we are going just down the beach to the Lava Lava Beach Club. Situated right on the beach, the place is alive with people laughing, eating, and drinking. A guitarist is playing Hawaiian music in the sand nearby while a women dances next to him. Dinner is good, and we are all just enjoying the relaxing time together in this perfect setting as the sun falls beneath the ocean in the distance. Cindy and Terri are a treat! I have such wonderful sisters! They have been on board with this trip from the beginning and have been wonderful to be around every single minute. Being with them makes me want to schedule more time with the family again soon. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Perceiving Is Alive and Well Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not...

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Companies Would Benefit from Helping People Who Prefer Introversion to Thrive

Sep 15, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

This article appeared in The Economist on Sept. 10, 2016. To read the article on the original website, click here.  MOST companies worry about discriminating against their employees on the basis of race, gender or sexual preference. But they give little thought to their shabby treatment of introverts. Carl Jung spotted the distinction between introverts and extroverts in 1921. Psychometric tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator consistently show that introverts make up between a third and a half of the population. Susan Cain’s book on their plight, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”, has sold more than 2m copies; the TED talk based on the book has been viewed just over 14m times. And yet, if anything, the corporate approach to introverts has been getting worse. The biggest culprit is the fashion for open-plan offices and so-called “group work”. Companies rightly think that the elixir of growth in a world where computers can do much of the grunt work is innovation. But they wrongly conclude that the best way to encourage creativity is to knock down office walls and to hold incessant meetings. This is ill-judged for a number of reasons. It rests on a trite analogy between intellectual and physical barriers between people. It ignores the fact that noise and interruptions make it harder to concentrate. And companies too often forget that whereas extroverts gain energy from other people, introverts need time on their own to recharge. The recent fashion for hyper-connectedness also reinforces an ancient prejudice against introverts when it comes to promotion. Many companies unconsciously identify leadership skills with extroversion—that is, a willingness to project the ego, press the flesh and prattle on in public. This suggests that Donald Trump is the beau idéal of a great manager. Yet in his book “Good to Great”, Jim Collins, a management guru, suggests that the chief executives who stay longest at the top of their industries tend to be quiet and self-effacing types. They are people who put their companies above their egos and frequently blend into the background. Many of the most successful founders and chief executives in the technology industry, such as Bill Gates of Microsoft, and Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, are introverts who might have floundered in the extroverted culture of IBM, with its company songs and strong emphasis on team-bonding. In penalising other people like them, firms are passing...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Perceiving Is Alive and Well

Sep 13, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Shave ice is on our mind as we depart the boat and head to our SUV. Kevin, Terri, and I are still a little wet, but we don’t mind. It’s Hawaii after all. As we drive just across the street, we see a large crowd has surrounded the Original Hawaiian Shave Ice stand. On one side of the Blue Dragon Restaurant parking lot the small and colorful stand waits for us to join the crowd. Mom, Dad, and Cindy grab a place to sit. Kevin, Terri, and I get in line and immediately see the delicious looking frozen treats coming from the window. While long, the line moves fast, and suddenly we find ourselves at the counter ready to order. The pressure…How do I decide? My Perceiving preference is alive and well, but it’s not helping me right now. I need to decide. So…I just ask the person at the counter what he likes best and order that. Why not just let someone else just decide for me? One by one our shave ice comes out. I join Cindy, Mom, and Dad while Kevin and Terri play courier. Another family has joined us at our table by now and we all have a pleasant conversation about how wonderful Hawaii is. Cindy is still excited about getting in the water. It’s fun seeing that kid side of her when talking about it at the table with the family that has joined us. Since we have been here, I’ve noticed how nice everyone in my family is during this trip when interacting with other families. I see it again today when talking with this other family. My parents have always been this way, and I really believe they have done a wonderful job of passing that along to Cindy, Terri and me. Of course, being in Hawaii makes it very easy to be nice. The air, sun, smell…it really feels like paradise. By the way, if you want to visit Original Hawaiian Shave Ice just drive 20 minutes north of Waikoloa—amazing! Tip: order the small size; it will still be huge. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—The Krakken

Sep 8, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

After swimming with dolphins we head over to a secluded snorkeling site. No other boats are around, so we have the place all to ourselves. Kevin and I stick together. I love being in the water, but have to admit to being a bit intimidated as well. Staying near Kevin makes me feel safe. Terri swims out to sea, so Damon (our first officer) has to go out to bring her back. I love how adventurous Terri can be. I love how she is making the most of every minute. Terri has this beautiful and open attitude about life that is contagious. Cindy, Mom, and Dad stay on board taking pictures and chatting with Captain Bryan and Liam. I can tell that Liam is just aching to get in the water. We then take a fun ride on…the Krakken! Not really a many-tentacled beast, the Krakken is a large raft that Captain Bryan ties to the back of the boat. Kevin, Terri, Liam, and I get on, and away we go. Cindy even gets on and talks about how exciting that was for her the rest of the day. Cindy is not an ocean person. She likes swimming pools but not a big open sea. I can sort of relate, though love it when I’m in. I can’t remember laughing so hard in such a long time. We are all acting like kids again as the Krakken throws us side to side and then plunges us head first into the water. It’s nearing time to leave. Before we get out of the water. Liam says to Kevin, “You are the best group we’ve ever had on our boat.” Whether he means it or he is really good at selling it, I don’t care. We really are having an amazing time. On board are lunch and drinks. This really is a perfect excursion. We head back to the pier as we sit in the sun and enjoy our food—sandwiches, chips, pineapple, and rum punch! Oh, my! If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior Celebrating...

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