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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Three-Hour Tour

Sep 6, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Right on time, Captain Bryan appears. He drives up in a big, black Toyota Tundra, gives us all a warm greeting, and then asks us to follow him across the street through the Kawaihae Harbor security entrance. I can’t tell you how excited I am as we drive up to the edge of the harbor and see our little boat for the day. Okay, it’s not actually “our” boat, but I can pretend. It’s a medium-size catamaran, with shaded seating inside, cushy seats, and netting to lay in up front. It is perfect for us. Captain Bryan introduces us to his crew: Damon and his young son, Liam. One by one we get on board. I’m impressed by how easily Mom gets on and settled in for our trip out to sea. While not a promise, Captain Bryan tells us he thinks he will be able to find dolphins sometime during the trip. And guess what? Almost 15 minutes out, there they are. I love dolphins. I’ve been in MBTI® workshops where we were to choose our favorite animal. It is uncanny how often those of us with NF preferences choose the dolphin. We also often choose the unicorn, though that tends to surprise (maybe even annoy) those with ST preferences. Wonder why? Years back I swam with a couple of dolphins in a rescue center in the Caribbean. Just five years back Kevin and I swam with about a hundred wild dolphins in Manele Bay on Lanai. And today, here are another hundred right by our boat. They actually swim up to, in front, and under our boat as we glide across the water. Kevin keeps saying, “Thanks for visiting,” as one dolphin after another swims right up and stares at us with one eye out of the water. It is fun seeing everyone get so excited at seeing dolphins so close. They truly are magical creatures. Captain Bryan asks if we want to swim near the dolphins. Terri, Kevin, and I jump at the chance. So, we quickly put on our snorkels and fins and one by one plunge into the sea. The water is amazing—cool, crisp, and salty. It’s also a bit daunting to be out in the middle of the ocean. A few dolphins are visible above the water at this point. When I poke my goggled eyes under the waves, I see about a...

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New—MBTI® Workbook

Sep 1, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

I have facilitated many individual and group MBTI® feedback sessions during the 28 years I’ve used this amazing tool. I have also trained many people on how to deliver that feedback, and at times I’ve found that people feel a bit overwhelmed by all the steps involved. That’s why I like the new Exploring Your Myers-Briggs® Type Workbook. It gives you the exact steps you need to walk someone, whether individually or in a group, through MBTI feedback. In the workbook, you will find a practical way to explain that the MBTI assessment is about identifying which preference a person uses most in each preference pair, while recognizing that everyone uses both preferences in each pair to some extent. The workbook also gives you the language you need to explain each of the preference pairs and then to help your clients or group self-estimate what they think their preferences might be. At the end of each preference pair section, participants circle the preference that they think fits them best and also circle “slight, moderate, clear,” or “very clear.” Just follow each page in order for the structure you need to deliver this part of the feedback session. The workbook then helps you move from the self-estimate to reported type by asking participants to circle at the end of each preference pair section the preference they reported (even if it is different from their self-estimate) and circle “slight,” “moderate,” “clear,” or “very clear” as indicated on the report you are using. And finally, the workbook includes a place for participants to enter what they think is their best-fit type. While the Exploring Your Myers-Briggs® Type Workbook contains short paragraphs describing each of the 16 four-letter types (pages 32 and 33), it is important to note that this workbook is meant to be used with the Introduction to Myers-Briggs® Type booklet, which contains more detailed descriptions and additional information. You should always provide follow-up after your feedback session with an individual or a group. The last sections in the workbook provide that as discussion you can have with participants at the end of the feedback session and as a take-away for each individual. You can use this content to begin your next session with this individual or group. Click here to access this great new resource. Don’t forget to visit to learn more about other new MBTI products for developing...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Early Morning and Ready to Go

Aug 30, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

It’s Tuesday. I’m wide awake by 4:30 a.m. Kevin is sleeping peacefully, so I quietly get up and get ready to meet the rest of my family downstairs for breakfast. We agreed the night before to meet at 6 am. Sure enough, as I walk in to the lobby, Mom, Dad, Cindy, and Terri are there and ready to go. I think yet again that I need to travel with my family more. Everyone is so easy to be around. There is no drama either. So nice! We are all ready to get our day started with a nice breakfast. The problem is that nothing is open—it’s too early. Cindy remembers there is a Starbucks close by, so we ask the valet for the car, load up, and take the very short ride over. The day has begun, and I am so excited to be here with my family. Starbucks as it turns out is the place to be this early in Hawaii. It’s hopping, and we are lucky to find a table. Mom, Dad, and Terri take a seat while Cindy and I order food for all of us. Food arrives, and we all talk quietly while the place continues to fill up with other early risers unable to find anyplace else to eat. We have a fun day ahead, and I want to make sure it starts off right, so we eat and then head back to the car to pick up Kevin back at the hotel. Today I have chartered a boat to take just the six of us out to sea to spot, hopefully, a few dolphins and then go snorkeling. Mom and Dad are not so sure about getting on a boat and at one point were going to stay behind until I let Dad know that I chartered this boat just for us. After reading lots of Yelp reviews, I finally found what sounds like the perfect company: Endless Summer Charters. While it is a bit of a drive out to our pick-up location, we don’t really care. We are in Hawaii! The water glistens on our left as we head north up the Big Island. We drive into the parking lot of the Blue Dragon Restaurant, where we are to meet Captain Bryan. We are early, and again I’m thankful that all is going so well on our trip. The restaurant is...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea

Aug 25, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

The dinner goes off beautifully. Kevin reaches over and whispers, “You did it,” as each course comes out. He knows I’ve been planning every detail of this night. I’m feeling relieved, happy, and a bit emotional. I’m so glad we are all here together in this beautiful place. I continue to think that we need to plan more family time sooner rather than later. Jenny, our host for the night, is spot-on with everything. She is supported by people coming and going with water, cocktails, a nice pupu platter, and then our salads and dinners. As expected, there is too much food, and I feel guilty not finishing all of mine. It all started with that much too large and very delicious pupu platter, which, in case you don’t know, is a Chinese American and Hawaiian cuisine option of appetizers. This course of light or heavy starter dishes was introduced to the United States mainland by Don the Beachcomber in 1934 (source: Wikipedia). Once dinner is over, the next surprise is…the cake! I’ve arranged for the guitarist to sing “Only You” while a small pink cake appears. This is Mom’s favorite song. When she and my father were married, they didn’t have a wedding cake. This is my attempt to make sure she gets one finally after all these years. We are very full, but who doesn’t have at least a little room for some cake? The sun sets during dinner, and the air under the cabana is nice and cool. The waves just across the way give off such a soothing aura to the evening. The flowers, candles, music, and pineapple-adorned mai-tais around the table complete the scene. Lots of pictures are taken. Our parents have never looked more wonderful together. I think how lucky I am to have them as my parents. Kudos by the way to the Waikoloa Marriott Resort for the amazing service and experience. Kevin and I have already booked a return trip next summer. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II Facets in Action Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love

Aug 23, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Kevin and I arrive in the lobby at the agreed-upon time: 6:15 p.m. Mom, Dad, Cindy, and Terri are already there looking nice in their fancy tropical attire. From the second-floor open-lobby balcony we can see that the cabana near the beach is being set up for our arrival. We arrive at the entrance to the restaurant, and the host knows right away we are here for our event. She takes us around the large swimming pool over to the very last cabana, where a table for six has been set up with a beautiful flower arrangement in the middle. A guitarist is playing Hawaiian music next to our table. The sun is low, so the air inside the cabana is nice and cool. While I’m not into the specifics of a particular setting, my INFP preferences certainly appeal to an overall pretty aesthetic. That word pretty used to embarrass me, but now that I understand myself better, I rather like that word. Today is the actual day of my parents’ 60th anniversary. Imagine, 60 years ago they were married. Being that they were both very young at the time, the odds were not in their favor. They first met when they were both children on the south side of San Antonio, Texas. My future mom was about four years old. She had a small wagon that my future dad and his friends wanted to use. My grandmother told them they could use the wagon only if they took Mom around in it. They agreed, but then they “accidently” tipped it over, and Mom ran home crying. They met again years later when Dad drove up to a gas station for a fill-up. Mom was working at the station pumping gas; her father owned the place. Dad asked her out. They eloped and started their lives with very little. Mom did not know how to cook. She made Dad pork chops and potatoes the first night she cooked for him. He said he liked it so she cooked it again three more nights. On that fourth night he asked whether she could cook something else. She ran outside crying because she didn’t know how to cook anything else. Now, Mom is the best cook I know. Many in our family would agree. I’ve taken CPP colleagues over to my parents’ house when I’ve been in San Antonio for work....

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior

Aug 18, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Getting Mom and Dad to their room and then Kevin and me to ours feels good. We have beachfront rooms and they do not disappoint. As we open the door onto the ocean, the view just takes over. It is beautiful. I’m feeling relieved that everything is going so well, including our hotel for the rest of the trip. Kevin and I start unpacking and organizing our room. As usual, I get the left side and he gets the right. We are both very neat, and getting the room all worked out is the first thing we usually do. Clothes get hung, and suitcases are placed on the racks. We change into our swimsuits and head straight past the swimming pools and right to the beach. It’s about 4 p.m., and the sun is still blazing in the distance. The water feels cool and relaxing as we both jump in and start swimming out. I turn to see Cindy and Terri arriving at the beach. Cindy sits in a lounge chair. Terri jumps in right after us. She loves water as much as we do. Being in the water in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is exactly what real Hawaii is all about. After our swim, we head back to the room to get ready for the anniversary dinner. I’ve spent a lot of time planning for it. Who says someone with Perceiving preferences cannot be amazing at planning something? We all need to remember that our preferences do not limit our behavior. Even today I made sure we ate lunch early so everyone would be hungry by evening. When I put my mind to something, I can be very good at creating lists and checking things off and coming to closure. I like to say, “Any type can do anything as long as the motivation is there to do it.” There will be lots of food tonight. Some of us will drink…mai-tais I’m assuming. Then we will finish with cake. Mom and Dad eloped to get married all those years ago. Mom has mentioned a few times over the years that she wished she had a wedding cake. So tonight she will have a wedding cake. She likes pink, so it will be a pink cake. Her favorite song is Only You. The guitarist will be playing that as the cake is brought out. It makes me...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II Facets in Action

Aug 16, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

After a nice lunch in Kona (Rebel Kitchen…delicious!) we finally reach the turnoff for Waikoloa Beach. Finally. As we drive up to the entrance of the Waikoloa Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, I see Cindy (the first-born sibling in our family) walking out to greet us. Mom, Dad, and Terri visit with Cindy a couple of times a year. Sadly, I haven’t seen Cindy in almost 30 years! Kevin has never met Cindy. Time flies for sure, but I realize I need to do more to see my big sister. We hug and are all excited to have arrived. Cindy has already made friends with Debbie (from Monterey) at the front desk. I’m so glad she has. Debbie is kind and helpful and professional. We feel very well taken care of, and check-in is a breeze. Debbie comes around the counter and places a shell lei over each of us and gives us a nice box of macadamia nut chocolates. Yum! Terri cries because she is so happy to be here. Cindy and I follow suit. We’ve always been this way. When we were little, if one of us cried, we all did. If one of us got in trouble, then we all felt bad about it. Poor Dad couldn’t even look at us with a stern expression without all three of us crying. It might have made it easy for him at times because he never had to raise his voice. It was probably difficult for him because he could just look at us and the tears would flow from all three of us. You would think he had hit us, but we very rarely even got spanked. Mom would say to him, “Look what you did?” and he would reply, “I didn’t do anything.” Poor Dad. He has three children who in MBTI® terms would be described as empathetic, compassionate, accommodating, accepting, and tender. These are the MBTI Step II™ facets, and the three of us are in-preference on all of them. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with Eggs and Bacon on the Side Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Father’s Day Too! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—INFP Preferences in Overdrive Celebrating...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference

Aug 11, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Ahead of schedule, we are ready for the drive from Volcano to Waikoloa—the exact opposite side of Hawaii. We could take the same route across the island that we took yesterday, but Kevin suggests we try a different and more scenic route down, under, and then back up the coast. The SUV is packed up, and the house is straightened up before we all pile in and get on the road by 10:30 a.m. I’m feeling good about being ahead of schedule, knowing this will give us plenty of time for lunch along the way, and then we can check in to the resort with daylight left to have some fun on the beach. While I’m not outwardly trying to “push” my Planful facet on everyone, inside I’m just thrilled that everyone is cooperating beautifully. I realize that I need to plan more vacations with my family. Maybe Vegas next summer. No drama from anyone (yet at least) and everyone sticks with the plan….so far! I love it! As we glide along the road, I remember that Kevin and I took this same route about four years ago. It is nice to show my family this different part of the island. The first few times the ocean appears Terri shouts out, “Look, the ocean!” When all you can see is ocean, this becomes our little joke along the way, especially as my Mom finally says, “It’s just water.” Mom can be a bit matter-of-fact sometimes. Kevin, Terri, and I just laugh. For us, the ocean is glorious and magical, and we can’t wait to jump in it. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with Eggs and Bacon on the Side Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Father’s Day Too! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—INFP Preferences in Overdrive Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Extraverted Intuition Meets Introverted Sensing Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Day One Adventure Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Out-of-Preference Planful Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—We Have Arrived! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary  ...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse

Aug 9, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

It’s about 6:30 a.m. when we drive through the entrance of Volcano National Park. There are very few cars around, so it feels like we have the place to ourselves. I see no way to pay for entering the park, so I make a mental note to do that on the way out. We first stop at the steam vents. It is incredible to see the terrain all around us seeping steam. Terri’s eyes are growing bigger and bigger as she scans everything around her. We take the short trail to one side and come upon Kilauea volcano in all its glory. Now Dad is clearly excited and tells me it was worth it coming all this way. Inside, I couldn’t be more thrilled. Outside, I smile and say, “Me too.” Mom, on the other hand, is only a little impressed and lets everyone know it. She expected to see a “mountain” with lava spewing out of it, “like in the movies,” she says. So to get a closer look we drive over to the Jaggar Museum lookout area. As at the steam vents, no one is around. It’s only about 7 a.m. now, and I’m realizing this is the perfect time to be here. Dad again says how grateful he is that we have come here. Seeing the volcano from this vantage point is really like nothing most people have ever seen. Still, Mom is not impressed. “This is not what I expected,” she says again. Our next stop is Nahuku, also known as Thurston Lava Tube. While it may be tricky to get Mom down the path, if we do, then I think she will finally be impressed. I’m intent on pleasing her and am reminded how my preferences for Intuition and Feeling can be a blessing and sometimes a curse. After lots of careful handholding and Mom insisting she can do it herself, she makes it down the steep path. And…she is very impressed (whew!), though she gets a bit dizzy in the darker parts. If ever you visit Volcano National Park, you should not miss the lava tube early in the morning. We have to tip-toe around puddles, and at times I don’t know whether Mom can keep going. “Will I have to carry her out?” I think to myself. In the end, this was something we all agreed was amazing. Truly amazing…otherworldly amazing at...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with Eggs and Bacon on the Side

Aug 4, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

I’m awake early and try several times to fall back to sleep. Finally, I decide to get out of bed after hearing rustling in the room across the hall. I get up and head downstairs to start breakfast. It’s 4:30 am. I get to cook! Kevin is sleeping peacefully in bed. I’m a little envious that he is able to sleep. Dad comes down first. He has been awake for a couple of hours and looks relieved that he can finally come downstairs without disturbing the house. Like me, Dad doesn’t like to be an inconvenience. He is the perfect example of someone with NT preferences who has developed his non-preferred side in the second half of life. I think it is a major reason why he and I connect so well now. I tell a story about him during the MBTI® Certification Program that covers Jung’s model of lifelong development. I share how grateful I am to see my father in this part of his life, where he has taken what he learned in the first half of life and learned to apply his third (tertiary) and fourth (inferior) processes in the second half. It is an amazing thing to see firsthand. I can hear Terri in the shower in the shared bathroom. When she comes down the stairs, she slips on the last stair and lands on her butt. In her usual fashion, she laughs it off and gets up, making no big deal of it. I love that about her. Her fall reminds us that we need to watch for Mom when she comes down. On the menu this morning are eggs, bacon, toast, Kona coffee, and orange juice. I plop the apple pie in the oven in case anyone wants to try to finish that off. The kitchen has everything one could need, but I’m still feeling a bit off-kilter with the slightly outdated appliances. Breakfast (fried eggs for everyone but Mom, who likes hers scrambled in large clumps) is eaten, and the kitchen is cleaned. Terri does most of the cleaning, and again I’m thankful, this time for her “jump-in-and-get-it-done” attitude. Mom, Dad, and Terri are all dressed and ready to go, so we decide to take an early morning drive in to the park. I give Kevin a kiss as I tell him we are heading out. Once he makes sure it is...

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