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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Dining by the Sea

Aug 25, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

The dinner goes off beautifully. Kevin reaches over and whispers, “You did it,” as each course comes out. He knows I’ve been planning every detail of this night. I’m feeling relieved, happy, and a bit emotional. I’m so glad we are all here together in this beautiful place. I continue to think that we need to plan more family time sooner rather than later. Jenny, our host for the night, is spot-on with everything. She is supported by people coming and going with water, cocktails, a nice pupu platter, and then our salads and dinners. As expected, there is too much food, and I feel guilty not finishing all of mine. It all started with that much too large and very delicious pupu platter, which, in case you don’t know, is a Chinese American and Hawaiian cuisine option of appetizers. This course of light or heavy starter dishes was introduced to the United States mainland by Don the Beachcomber in 1934 (source: Wikipedia). Once dinner is over, the next surprise is…the cake! I’ve arranged for the guitarist to sing “Only You” while a small pink cake appears. This is Mom’s favorite song. When she and my father were married, they didn’t have a wedding cake. This is my attempt to make sure she gets one finally after all these years. We are very full, but who doesn’t have at least a little room for some cake? The sun sets during dinner, and the air under the cabana is nice and cool. The waves just across the way give off such a soothing aura to the evening. The flowers, candles, music, and pineapple-adorned mai-tais around the table complete the scene. Lots of pictures are taken. Our parents have never looked more wonderful together. I think how lucky I am to have them as my parents. Kudos by the way to the Waikoloa Marriott Resort for the amazing service and experience. Kevin and I have already booked a return trip next summer. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II Facets in Action Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—A Life of Love

Aug 23, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Kevin and I arrive in the lobby at the agreed-upon time: 6:15 p.m. Mom, Dad, Cindy, and Terri are already there looking nice in their fancy tropical attire. From the second-floor open-lobby balcony we can see that the cabana near the beach is being set up for our arrival. We arrive at the entrance to the restaurant, and the host knows right away we are here for our event. She takes us around the large swimming pool over to the very last cabana, where a table for six has been set up with a beautiful flower arrangement in the middle. A guitarist is playing Hawaiian music next to our table. The sun is low, so the air inside the cabana is nice and cool. While I’m not into the specifics of a particular setting, my INFP preferences certainly appeal to an overall pretty aesthetic. That word pretty used to embarrass me, but now that I understand myself better, I rather like that word. Today is the actual day of my parents’ 60th anniversary. Imagine, 60 years ago they were married. Being that they were both very young at the time, the odds were not in their favor. They first met when they were both children on the south side of San Antonio, Texas. My future mom was about four years old. She had a small wagon that my future dad and his friends wanted to use. My grandmother told them they could use the wagon only if they took Mom around in it. They agreed, but then they “accidently” tipped it over, and Mom ran home crying. They met again years later when Dad drove up to a gas station for a fill-up. Mom was working at the station pumping gas; her father owned the place. Dad asked her out. They eloped and started their lives with very little. Mom was 16 and Dad was 19. Mom did not know how to cook. She made Dad pork chops and potatoes the first night she cooked for him. He said he liked it so she cooked it again three more nights. On that fourth night he asked whether she could cook something else. She ran outside crying because she didn’t know how to cook anything else. Now, Mom is the best cook I know. Many in our family would agree. I’ve taken CPP colleagues over to my parents’ house when...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—My Preferences Do Not Limit My Behavior

Aug 18, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Getting Mom and Dad to their room and then Kevin and me to ours feels good. We have beachfront rooms and they do not disappoint. As we open the door onto the ocean, the view just takes over. It is beautiful. I’m feeling relieved that everything is going so well, including our hotel for the rest of the trip. Kevin and I start unpacking and organizing our room. As usual, I get the left side and he gets the right. We are both very neat, and getting the room all worked out is the first thing we usually do. Clothes get hung, and suitcases are placed on the racks. We change into our swimsuits and head straight past the swimming pools and right to the beach. It’s about 4 p.m., and the sun is still blazing in the distance. The water feels cool and relaxing as we both jump in and start swimming out. I turn to see Cindy and Terri arriving at the beach. Cindy sits in a lounge chair. Terri jumps in right after us. She loves water as much as we do. Being in the water in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is exactly what real Hawaii is all about. After our swim, we head back to the room to get ready for the anniversary dinner. I’ve spent a lot of time planning for it. Who says someone with Perceiving preferences cannot be amazing at planning something? We all need to remember that our preferences do not limit our behavior. Even today I made sure we ate lunch early so everyone would be hungry by evening. When I put my mind to something, I can be very good at creating lists and checking things off and coming to closure. I like to say, “Any type can do anything as long as the motivation is there to do it.” There will be lots of food tonight. Some of us will drink…mai-tais I’m assuming. Then we will finish with cake. Mom and Dad eloped to get married all those years ago. Mom has mentioned a few times over the years that she wished she had a wedding cake. So tonight she will have a wedding cake. She likes pink, so it will be a pink cake. Her favorite song is Only You. The guitarist will be playing that as the cake is brought out. It makes me...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II Facets in Action

Aug 16, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

After a nice lunch in Kona (Rebel Kitchen…delicious!) we finally reach the turnoff for Waikoloa Beach. Finally. As we drive up to the entrance of the Waikoloa Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, I see Cindy (the first-born sibling in our family) walking out to greet us. Mom, Dad, and Terri visit with Cindy a couple of times a year. Sadly, I haven’t seen Cindy in almost 30 years! Kevin has never met Cindy. Time flies for sure, but I realize I need to do more to see my big sister. We hug and are all excited to have arrived. Cindy has already made friends with Debbie (from Monterey) at the front desk. I’m so glad she has. Debbie is kind and helpful and professional. We feel very well taken care of, and check-in is a breeze. Debbie comes around the counter and places a shell lei over each of us and gives us a nice box of macadamia nut chocolates. Yum! Terri cries because she is so happy to be here. Cindy and I follow suit. We’ve always been this way. When we were little, if one of us cried, we all did. If one of us got in trouble, then we all felt bad about it. Poor Dad couldn’t even look at us with a stern expression without all three of us crying. It might have made it easy for him at times because he never had to raise his voice. It was probably difficult for him because he could just look at us and the tears would flow from all three of us. You would think he had hit us, but we very rarely even got spanked. Mom would say to him, “Look what you did?” and he would reply, “I didn’t do anything.” Poor Dad. He has three children who in MBTI® terms would be described as empathetic, compassionate, accommodating, accepting, and tender. These are the MBTI Step II™ facets, and the three of us are in-preference on all of them. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with Eggs and Bacon on the Side Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Father’s Day Too! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—INFP Preferences in Overdrive Celebrating...

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Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Step II™ Planful, Out-of-Preference

Aug 11, 2016 in MBTI Talk | 0 comments

Ahead of schedule, we are ready for the drive from Volcano to Waikoloa—the exact opposite side of Hawaii. We could take the same route across the island that we took yesterday, but Kevin suggests we try a different and more scenic route down, under, and then back up the coast. The SUV is packed up, and the house is straightened up before we all pile in and get on the road by 10:30 a.m. I’m feeling good about being ahead of schedule, knowing this will give us plenty of time for lunch along the way, and then we can check in to the resort with daylight left to have some fun on the beach. While I’m not outwardly trying to “push” my Planful facet on everyone, inside I’m just thrilled that everyone is cooperating beautifully. I realize that I need to plan more vacations with my family. Maybe Vegas next summer. No drama from anyone (yet at least) and everyone sticks with the plan….so far! I love it! As we glide along the road, I remember that Kevin and I took this same route about four years ago. It is nice to show my family this different part of the island. The first few times the ocean appears Terri shouts out, “Look, the ocean!” When all you can see is ocean, this becomes our little joke along the way, especially as my Mom finally says, “It’s just water.” Mom can be a bit matter-of-fact sometimes. Kevin, Terri, and I just laugh. For us, the ocean is glorious and magical, and we can’t wait to jump in it. If you want to read more about my Hawaiian family vacation, check out the previous blogs in this series: Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—NF Blessing, NF Curse Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Lifelong Type Development with Eggs and Bacon on the Side Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Father’s Day Too! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—INFP Preferences in Overdrive Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Extraverted Intuition Meets Introverted Sensing Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Day One Adventure Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—Out-of-Preference Planful Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary—We Have Arrived! Celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary  ...

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